Election Day is tomorrow. One minute I’m nervous, the next I’m able to distract myself. Today I’m letting myself feel the nerves, the anxiety. Does sitting in discomfort build like a muscle? Will my nervous system eventually look like the bottom of my feet? The feet that have held me for 48 years, 20+ of those doing hair. At least 10 before that in retail and hospitality. I think a calloused nervous system might not be the goal here, but why does that sound amazing?
Here’s what I know, (thanks to therapy, recovery, community) if I’m triggered, my nervous system is activated and the most effective way to move it thru my body is to feel the feeling while moving my body. Writing does this for me. (Yoga and walking are also super effective)Writing has been my best tool for longer than I even knew what it was doing for me.
So, I’m triggered and I’m writing a ton. I have always wanted to write a blog. I was a huge blog reader in the 2010’s and back thought of starting a hair blog but was discouraged by a former boss. Now I’m almost 50, I want to explore all my parts and put it out there for reasons that I’m not even sure of yet, I am just compelled.
While I was writing away in my notebook (I’m convinced my memory will fade but my notebooks will last forever) inspiration hit and I knew today was the day. Every time I think I should start I get scared. I don’t want to be seen, I don’t want to come off silly or stupid, I am uneducated, I should take a class first or maybe a writers retreat or even just read a book first! SO MANY REASONS to not start. But today I just started because I trust my mind, my body and my heart. And here we are.
I went so far off from what I wrote about in my notebook. I decided to save the content (sexual trauma, super chill) for next time!
I Used To Know A Girl 